i'm thinking i want a volvo stationwagon of some kind. indie points + 10
wanting indie points. - 20
you can't win these days.
so here's the deal, i'm throwing in the towel on all this being cool stuff. and you should too.
unless of course your towel is from the thrift store. then, award yourself indie points + 3
28.2.09
26.2.09
and another one bites the dust
a friend in college met someone she considered “a keeper.” i agreed after meeting him on Tuesday during Art Class that he was real nice in the way of husbandry. and he drove a Honda Accord which means he’s reliable for the long haul. probably won't won't ask you to buy his dinner. aka. a congressional bailout.
if you date anyone with the initials GM. run.
at some point you might correlate my working title as yet another lame attempt to link a famous 80’s punk rock song with the concept of matrimony. don't. i've gotta interject.
cause i don’t at all think marriage should rightly be compared to someone eating mud. in fact, it ranks pretty high up there on the sacrament charts, though never lands the playoffs cause of eucharist and brotherly love.
no, when i mean bite the dust, i'm referring to falling. literally. not "in love" you saps :)
i don’t expect my inner-clutz to ever really respond appropriately to social situations. but gosh oh friday, it ought to behave where weddings are concerned. I was in a wedding once. and i even gave myself a lecture before the event began. something to the effect of
dear feet, you decided around my first birthday that you indeed would be my primary mode of transportation. and yet you’ve been letting me down for many years now. tripping as you please. sacrificing my big toe on the sharp edges of furniture. also, refusing to be gracious where high heels(formerly known as stilts) are concerned. could you kindly put your best foot forward here? no pun intended. yes pun intended. when using a pun, fess' up.
anyway, things were off to a good start. i moseyed on down the isle with no mishaps (which naturally meant i was going to add some swagger to my step) but just as i started getting cheeky, a stumble occurred on the fourth stair step up to the cermonial candle lighting.(not a good place to trip) there were only five steps in all. and looking back, i was eerily too close to the promised land.
know what’s real strange, though? my sister tripped at the very same spot, the very same bloody stair. ( that was NOT a use of british slang. the stair was, in fact, the probable cause of fierce injury and blood-spill...and the door, but, that's another story.)
musical queue: bum.bum.bum. and another one ... yyeessshhh.
when i got to contemplating the whole thing, it seemed to me that all of us were so worried bout our own parts, we didn’t care to watch the others. and therefore couldn’t learn from anyone's mistakes.
my less spiritual theory is that our dress hems were too long.
still, makes me wonder. pretend generations here on earth are all bridesmaids in super ugly dresses. and no generation learns from the generation before it. and we all keep trippin on the same stair. AND NO ONE LEVELS THE PLAYING FIELD FOR THEIR CHILDREN. and creation keeps groaning. and there's no such thing as slow redemption for the whole. until there is.
such thinking is the direct result of katie couric and the 7 oclock news.
if you date anyone with the initials GM. run.
at some point you might correlate my working title as yet another lame attempt to link a famous 80’s punk rock song with the concept of matrimony. don't. i've gotta interject.
cause i don’t at all think marriage should rightly be compared to someone eating mud. in fact, it ranks pretty high up there on the sacrament charts, though never lands the playoffs cause of eucharist and brotherly love.
no, when i mean bite the dust, i'm referring to falling. literally. not "in love" you saps :)
i don’t expect my inner-clutz to ever really respond appropriately to social situations. but gosh oh friday, it ought to behave where weddings are concerned. I was in a wedding once. and i even gave myself a lecture before the event began. something to the effect of
dear feet, you decided around my first birthday that you indeed would be my primary mode of transportation. and yet you’ve been letting me down for many years now. tripping as you please. sacrificing my big toe on the sharp edges of furniture. also, refusing to be gracious where high heels(formerly known as stilts) are concerned. could you kindly put your best foot forward here? no pun intended. yes pun intended. when using a pun, fess' up.
anyway, things were off to a good start. i moseyed on down the isle with no mishaps (which naturally meant i was going to add some swagger to my step) but just as i started getting cheeky, a stumble occurred on the fourth stair step up to the cermonial candle lighting.(not a good place to trip) there were only five steps in all. and looking back, i was eerily too close to the promised land.
know what’s real strange, though? my sister tripped at the very same spot, the very same bloody stair. ( that was NOT a use of british slang. the stair was, in fact, the probable cause of fierce injury and blood-spill...and the door, but, that's another story.)
musical queue: bum.bum.bum. and another one ... yyeessshhh.
when i got to contemplating the whole thing, it seemed to me that all of us were so worried bout our own parts, we didn’t care to watch the others. and therefore couldn’t learn from anyone's mistakes.
my less spiritual theory is that our dress hems were too long.
still, makes me wonder. pretend generations here on earth are all bridesmaids in super ugly dresses. and no generation learns from the generation before it. and we all keep trippin on the same stair. AND NO ONE LEVELS THE PLAYING FIELD FOR THEIR CHILDREN. and creation keeps groaning. and there's no such thing as slow redemption for the whole. until there is.
such thinking is the direct result of katie couric and the 7 oclock news.
24.2.09
golly
i want quiet.
i want to be more like jesus.
i want my nose pierced.
i want to sit and observe.
i want to get out.
i want the summer heat.
i want liberation.
i want peace.
i want a pure heart.
i want to sing with a good boy harmony.
i want fullness.
i want to feel the rain pouring down.
i want sleep.
i want a burrito.
i want a break.
i want time to slow down.
i want time to speed up
i want to be able to make a clear decision.
i want adventure.
i want to fly.
i want...i want...
so much.
i want to be more like jesus.
i want my nose pierced.
i want to sit and observe.
i want to get out.
i want the summer heat.
i want liberation.
i want peace.
i want a pure heart.
i want to sing with a good boy harmony.
i want fullness.
i want to feel the rain pouring down.
i want sleep.
i want a burrito.
i want a break.
i want time to slow down.
i want time to speed up
i want to be able to make a clear decision.
i want adventure.
i want to fly.
i want...i want...
so much.
22.2.09
i wish i could
really allisssonnn?!!!
REALLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
I really wish i could explain to you bloggers what the above statement means...
but, there are some things i just cannot even type on blogspot.
REALLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
I really wish i could explain to you bloggers what the above statement means...
but, there are some things i just cannot even type on blogspot.
21.2.09
awaken me
i can feel myself
f
a
l
l
i
n
g
and
in a whisper; growing farther apart...
slowly
s lo wly
s l o w l y
f
a
l
l
i
n
g
and
in a whisper; growing farther apart...
slowly
s lo wly
s l o w l y
20.2.09
honestly.
it all hit me again tonight.
the memories came flooding back. funny how one song, one smell, or even the sight of one object can flood my emotional state with pain, again.
maybe i'm being a bit over-dramatic...
or maybe not.
Love. what? how stupid. especially when you're involved.
i've never loved anyone before.
then again, i've never hated anyone either.
hate is a more distinguishable emotion.
love on the other hand is such a broad spectrum i don't even want to attempt to ponder it most times. or attempt to feel it.
i think i know what hate feels like...
and if my life were like a keyboard, i would delete you in a heartbeat.
the memories came flooding back. funny how one song, one smell, or even the sight of one object can flood my emotional state with pain, again.
maybe i'm being a bit over-dramatic...
or maybe not.
Love. what? how stupid. especially when you're involved.
i've never loved anyone before.
then again, i've never hated anyone either.
hate is a more distinguishable emotion.
love on the other hand is such a broad spectrum i don't even want to attempt to ponder it most times. or attempt to feel it.
i think i know what hate feels like...
and if my life were like a keyboard, i would delete you in a heartbeat.
18.2.09
well, that's gay.
In class today we had to come up with an object to sell to a specific target market.
I chose to market a line of energy bars for gay men, and i called them fruit snacks.
i was then scolded in front of the class.
I chose to market a line of energy bars for gay men, and i called them fruit snacks.
i was then scolded in front of the class.
16.2.09
oh boy
don't be embarrassed dear.
i realize when you said the words,
zooey deschanel, will you marry me and write beautiful music for the rest of all time?
you really meant
allison jester, will you marry me and write beautiful music for the rest of all time?
it's an honest mistake and i won't hold it against you. why, i can't even remember my own name half the time.
i realize when you said the words,
zooey deschanel, will you marry me and write beautiful music for the rest of all time?
you really meant
allison jester, will you marry me and write beautiful music for the rest of all time?
it's an honest mistake and i won't hold it against you. why, i can't even remember my own name half the time.
12.2.09
don't think and drive
today i was thinking boutcha in the car.
i was all ponder. ponder. slam on the breaks. supplication of thanks for not rear ending the lexus in front of me. back to pondering. ponder some more.
and then something real weird happened in the middle of my stand still traffic jam (courtesy of hefner parkway.)
in the midst of daydreaming, i started getting warm and fuzzy in my heart. it was real surprising that you could bring so much excitement to my bones. the mere thought of ya made my temperature go way up.
i must kinda like you, i think.
20 seconds later, a realization.
... ahhhh, dag gum seat warmers are turned on again.
i was all ponder. ponder. slam on the breaks. supplication of thanks for not rear ending the lexus in front of me. back to pondering. ponder some more.
and then something real weird happened in the middle of my stand still traffic jam (courtesy of hefner parkway.)
in the midst of daydreaming, i started getting warm and fuzzy in my heart. it was real surprising that you could bring so much excitement to my bones. the mere thought of ya made my temperature go way up.
i must kinda like you, i think.
20 seconds later, a realization.
... ahhhh, dag gum seat warmers are turned on again.
11.2.09
supa fly nikes
there are lots of different kind of people. all of us weird. and in our universal weirdness, completely normal. though i don't encourage you to ponder that too long, cause i can't promise it contained sense or value. like most things on the internet.
anyway, all of us (weirdos) have ways of reacting to our dragons. *authors note: dragon equals pain.
some of paint on pretend smiles.
others of us take long drives.
buy lots of armor. or buy high heels.
sit in a dark room.
get lost in a book.
finish a pint of ice cream. or a pint of beer.
become a dragon to someone else.
or run. run.
run.
that's me, the running girl.
which used to be fine, cause that's what we did. you fought the fire breathing beast in that darling classic tee of yours. and i took for the hills. knowing you would catch up soon enough. and then we would seal the deal with one of those kisses that makes movie credits roll.
ahhh, but if you stay long enough to watch, every flick has a sequel. has to. otherwise what would we do with all the excess popcorn?
for me, the following options remain. run faster. or learn to fight on my own.
when did this happen? when did you, my friend and more, become my dragon?
... on a happier note. i once did a clay dragon for art class at the elementary school. the teacher thought it was so swell that she put it on her work desk. that dragon is not a bad one. it stands for business saavy.
anyway, all of us (weirdos) have ways of reacting to our dragons. *authors note: dragon equals pain.
some of paint on pretend smiles.
others of us take long drives.
buy lots of armor. or buy high heels.
sit in a dark room.
get lost in a book.
finish a pint of ice cream. or a pint of beer.
become a dragon to someone else.
or run. run.
run.
that's me, the running girl.
which used to be fine, cause that's what we did. you fought the fire breathing beast in that darling classic tee of yours. and i took for the hills. knowing you would catch up soon enough. and then we would seal the deal with one of those kisses that makes movie credits roll.
ahhh, but if you stay long enough to watch, every flick has a sequel. has to. otherwise what would we do with all the excess popcorn?
for me, the following options remain. run faster. or learn to fight on my own.
when did this happen? when did you, my friend and more, become my dragon?
... on a happier note. i once did a clay dragon for art class at the elementary school. the teacher thought it was so swell that she put it on her work desk. that dragon is not a bad one. it stands for business saavy.
10.2.09
7.2.09
electricity
and as the electricity comes to an end, i am left wanting.
this feeling drives me to the point of insanity, at times.
i want none other than to please you, but how can i do that when you feel so far away?
why don't i seek you like i should? time? priority? stop this. get it together.
i turn to the electricity.
jolts of warmth scream through my body.
thoughts racing, i cry out in self-pity for the one who can take it all away
and yet, lunge it at me simultaniously.
i duck...sorry, i'll catch it the next time.
what next time? here and now is where i should be. it's where you are.
time is not the main concern here. oh no, you have plenty of time.
a little effort wouldn't be so bad though. stop that. get it together.
and as i cry out, i feel a tear drip down my cheek
and a hand gently wipe it away.
there you are. finally.
here i am. so stuck.
so,
i turn away and barely hear your whispers romancing me.
and as i look back at you, i stretch out my hand...
the electricity, leaving me wanting yet again.
this feeling drives me to the point of insanity, at times.
i want none other than to please you, but how can i do that when you feel so far away?
why don't i seek you like i should? time? priority? stop this. get it together.
i turn to the electricity.
jolts of warmth scream through my body.
thoughts racing, i cry out in self-pity for the one who can take it all away
and yet, lunge it at me simultaniously.
i duck...sorry, i'll catch it the next time.
what next time? here and now is where i should be. it's where you are.
time is not the main concern here. oh no, you have plenty of time.
a little effort wouldn't be so bad though. stop that. get it together.
and as i cry out, i feel a tear drip down my cheek
and a hand gently wipe it away.
there you are. finally.
here i am. so stuck.
so,
i turn away and barely hear your whispers romancing me.
and as i look back at you, i stretch out my hand...
the electricity, leaving me wanting yet again.
5.2.09
de-code
I have always known that I do not have many friends. I prefer quality over quantity, but it would be beneficial to have more associates for future reasons. This year I’m planning on attending Evangel University. People are coming and going, but I feel like I have no one coming and going with me. Perhaps that is what I need. I have lived in Oklahoma practically my whole life. I have known the same people since middle school. It would be good to cut the umbilical cord from this life, but I am scared. I am petrified of not knowing what is next...
I am almost 18 years old. When I look at that number I feel that it does not reflect where I am at in life. Yes, externally the reflection is correct but, internally…time has been ticking faster. I hope my internal clock is correct because my life is about to take a shift of major proportions.
I can’t wait for the day when I wake up and have that feeling like I am taking steps in the right direction instead of jumps backwards.
I feel that everyone is asking me to decide my future today. They want me to line up a career, a husband, a plan. But if these people knew me at all, they would know I’m not a huge planner. When it’s necessary I will line up a plan, but other than that I just take life one day at a time, enjoying as much of it as I possibly can. I’m also extremely indecisive. I want to be a missionary one day then the next I want to be a rock star. I want to have a plan, but it is not that easy for me. I want the plan to just unfold. I am content with living my life one day at a time. I will find out what I am supposed to do when God tells me. As of now it's a mystery. And i am patiently waiting for the de-code.
I am almost 18 years old. When I look at that number I feel that it does not reflect where I am at in life. Yes, externally the reflection is correct but, internally…time has been ticking faster. I hope my internal clock is correct because my life is about to take a shift of major proportions.
I can’t wait for the day when I wake up and have that feeling like I am taking steps in the right direction instead of jumps backwards.
I feel that everyone is asking me to decide my future today. They want me to line up a career, a husband, a plan. But if these people knew me at all, they would know I’m not a huge planner. When it’s necessary I will line up a plan, but other than that I just take life one day at a time, enjoying as much of it as I possibly can. I’m also extremely indecisive. I want to be a missionary one day then the next I want to be a rock star. I want to have a plan, but it is not that easy for me. I want the plan to just unfold. I am content with living my life one day at a time. I will find out what I am supposed to do when God tells me. As of now it's a mystery. And i am patiently waiting for the de-code.
Hmm.. I have no idea what to say. Today hasn't been a very good day. Woke up sad. I've been listening to Tyler James a lot lately. I think he's got the most amazing voice I've ever heard. I especially like this song:
"Dont leave i've got so much to tell you and there's no more need to generalize. I cant really change how you feel for me honey, i just need some peace tonight. If this should be the easy part then why's it always seem so hard? Cos all we do is analyze and now i have forgotten why. I thought you wanted me to love you, soon as i do you're terrified. I cant really change how you feel for me honey, I just need some peace tonight. Do you even know what you do to me? Do you even know that its killin me? But I dont mind oh i dont mind. Don't leave i've got so much to tell you and there's no more need to generalize. I cant really change how you feel for me honey, i just need some peace tonight. Of course I'm gonna fall for you, what did you expect me to do? Could you be more sensitive, I've offered what you couldn't give."
"Dont leave i've got so much to tell you and there's no more need to generalize. I cant really change how you feel for me honey, i just need some peace tonight. If this should be the easy part then why's it always seem so hard? Cos all we do is analyze and now i have forgotten why. I thought you wanted me to love you, soon as i do you're terrified. I cant really change how you feel for me honey, I just need some peace tonight. Do you even know what you do to me? Do you even know that its killin me? But I dont mind oh i dont mind. Don't leave i've got so much to tell you and there's no more need to generalize. I cant really change how you feel for me honey, i just need some peace tonight. Of course I'm gonna fall for you, what did you expect me to do? Could you be more sensitive, I've offered what you couldn't give."
3.2.09
2.2.09
12th grade princess
trapped in her tower
she ponders and waits
patiently for the day
when she can move different states.
this nagging and screaming
is getting on her nerves
plus all the guys here
are stupid, egotistical pervs.
writing and singing
are her main forms of art
she scribbles down poems
and lyrics straight from her heart.
Maybe one day my prince will come,
she thought
equipped with a voice, a bible,
and a brand new guitar he just bought.
But, she sits in her tower
atop a pillow studded window seat
dreaming of the day when
something...someone would sweep her off her feet.
she ponders and waits
patiently for the day
when she can move different states.
this nagging and screaming
is getting on her nerves
plus all the guys here
are stupid, egotistical pervs.
writing and singing
are her main forms of art
she scribbles down poems
and lyrics straight from her heart.
Maybe one day my prince will come,
she thought
equipped with a voice, a bible,
and a brand new guitar he just bought.
But, she sits in her tower
atop a pillow studded window seat
dreaming of the day when
something...someone would sweep her off her feet.
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